Donut tax

Donut tax

Toilet_tissueFor readers out there who can’t fathom out the Canadian tax system (and that includes most of us) Job Patstone ‘explains’ it all here. Load of old sh1t if you ask me – Ed.

Taxes on bathroom tissue, but not on a dozen donuts, what’s with that?

Yep, it would appear you can buy a dozen donuts and not pay a cent of sales tax, which is nice if you like donuts. You will however, have to pay tax on the toilet paper that you will eventually need if and when those donuts, or at least what’s left of them, are digested and consequently ejected from your body. Now that may sound gross, but think about it and you’ll realize just how ridiculous Canada’s tax system looks to the outside world.

We in Canada are a fortunate lot, and life is good here, except when it comes to paying taxes. We have a Federal sales tax, a Provincial sales tax and or a supposedly ‘harmonized’ sales tax. Whatever you want to call it, it’s money we pay extra for almost everything we buy or use. It’s not even called sales tax anymore, it was renamed ‘goods and services tax’ early in the new millennium, but it’s really the same game with a different name. We’re not only taxed now on things we buy, but also on the services we use, how pathetic is that?

The government’s argument of course is a good one, explaining that all those social programs we enjoy have to be paid for somewhere and somehow and especially by someone. But let’s be sensible. When the new tax was implemented, it was divided into ‘essential and non-essential’ items, with essential items supposedly being exempt, which brings me back to the toilet paper. Apparently in Canada, toilet paper is not essential (because it’s taxed) and on the contrary, a dozen donuts is, because it’s not taxed. Either way, you’re still paying tax on those donuts, only later.

If that’s not ridiculous enough, we are also taxed on the amount of electricity we use and on heating oil we use to heat our houses and this is when I really start to fume. You receive a bill for your heating oil of let’s say $624 which I suppose is reasonable, although the price of oil is also a debatable one in itself, and on top of that amount there’s GST and PST to add – around $31 and $62 respectfully amounting to $93 more on the total bill. So you’re paying an extra $93 just to have the privilege of being able to heat your house and stay comfortable, or basically stay in your house without freezing to death. Is that fair in countries like Canada where winter plays a major role in our everyday lives?

If you have a business or use your house as an office you can claim a certain amount of those taxes collected on your annual income tax forms which is also nice, but the average person doesn’t have a business or an office in their living quarters, so they, or we simply pay all those taxes, causing everything to be more expensive, and just sit on our butts and complain about them. The old expression about “Death and Taxes” being the only two things we’re really sure of in life, is becoming more and more a reality as everything in general is costing more, inadvertently raising the taxes, subsequently making us poorer and consequently giving us less buying power. But there’s where the ball stops bouncing, because the less we buy, the fewer taxes we’re going to pay. That’s why for a government, it makes sense to tax things like electricity and shoes etc. because we have to, one way or another, keep ourselves warm and preferably walk around our cities with something on our feet, unless we live in the Caribbean and can walk along beaches all day in shorts and a T-shirt which in Canada isn’t the case.

Tax problems and the way they’re levied etc. is an international problem, but when it comes to taxing us on items like electricity, heating oil and even shoes, it makes you wonder sometimes just what is important for survival according to a Government. Imagine if someone died in their house because they froze to death; would the revenue dept. be liable for “unpaid taxes causing bodily harm or death” or would they find some way to avoid the accusations. One thing for sure the person would have died without paying those taxes and the two things do go together, so it would make sense. It would be written on the death certificate, “death by taxes”, very appropriate I would say.

In wrapping up; if you had bought that dozen donuts one donut at a time, you would have paid tax on each one, so the best thing is to buy the dozen and eat them one at a time knowing you’ve screwed the government with every bite you take, and your toilet paper will last a lot longer too.

Categories: News, Opinion

About Author

Job Patstone

Job Patstone was born in Hamilton, ON. and has lived in Montreal, Calgary, Edmonton and Red Deer AB. He is presently living in Quebec City, with his wife. He worked for Xerox for 26 years and was an ESL teacher for another ten.

Write a Comment

Only registered users can comment.