Ross Murray: 150 MORE Things You Didn’t Know About Canada!

Ross Murray: 150 MORE Things You Didn’t Know About Canada!

This column first appeared in the June 2017 issue of Life in Québec Magazine.

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150 MORE Things You Didn’t Know About Canada!

By Ross Murray

Canada. So vast. So diverse. So drunk. Despite its international reputation for short-term storage rental, Canada is so much more! As we saw last issue, Canada is a panoply of cultural and historical facts and notions that don’t always make it into the history books, or even the weekly grocery flyers.

To mark the 150th anniversary of Canada becoming the country that we know (with the exception of Manitoba, P.E.I., Saskatchewan, Alberta, B.C., Newfoundland and maybe the territories; we can’t recall), here are 150 more Canadian facts, which you probably didn’t even know existed!

Before we get down to the Canadian arcana –  or Canarcana – a correction from last time: an unfortunate typographical error during production rendered the spelling of “Regina” as “Scuzzbag City.” We apologize for the error.

In addition, we would like to clarify that not all members of the RCMP Musical Ride suffer from debilitating toenail  fungus; only a few of them do. And by “a few” we mean “none that we know of.” We apologize for the mental image.

And now, 150 additional tidbits Canada-wise, the knowledge of which eluded you!

  1. Sir Charles Tupper had the shortest term as prime minister, but the longest ceremonial sash.
  2. After Canadian forces scored a major victory at Vimy Ridge, they celebrated with beers from the Vimy Fridge. The historically significant icebox is now located in a Yarmouth, N.S., garage known as “Larry’s Man Cave.”
  3. The beloved syndicated comic The Family Circus is based on the Caldwell family of Stittsville, Ontario, who had exceptionally oval, chubby heads. Contrary to their saccharin reputation in the comic strip, the Caldwells were locally known for orchestrating illegal dogfights.
  4. Laura Secord actually tasted like chocolate.
  5. In 1983, Crayola introduced a line of Canadian crayons. The colours included Poultry, Lawn Clippings, Margarine, Burnt Umbrage, Mississauga Condo and Margaret Atwood.
  6. In the town of Juniper, Sask., it is illegal to do sit-ups.
  7. Every May 17, at exactly 3:46 a.m., the province of New Brunswick completely disappears for six seconds. No one notices.
  8. Had former prime minister Stephen Harper been re-elected in 2015, he had planned to call this year’s celebrations “Canada 139 Plus 11 Years of the Harper Government.”
  9. Per capita, there are more charity car washes in Canada than in any other country.
  10. 32 per cent of Canadians don’t like hockey but are too polite to say so.

11-76. are statistically the least popular numbers among Canadians.

  1. Until 1968, it was illegal to appear on Canadian radio or television without a British accent.
  2. The band Blue Rodeo was originally called Green Prayer Meeting.
  3. The famous Halifax donair was originally created as a punishment.

80-139. are also unpopular, but grudgingly tolerated.

  1. The Last Spike was driven into the Canadian Pacific Railway at Craigellachie, B.C.,at 9:22 a.m. on November 7, 1885. The first bar car opened at 9:45 a.m.
  2. Despite being known as The Quiet Revolution, Québec’s period of social transformation led its neighbours to frequently complain about the noise.
  3. Three out of 18 Canadians cannot reduce fractions.
  4. Prime Minister Louis St-Laurent had the largest collection of fleas in Eastern Canada. Wait: scratch that.
  5. Contrary to popular belief, Manitoba is a province of Canada.
  6. Mount Logan in the Yukon is the highest peak in Canada. The lowest peak in Canada is that speed bump at the end of my street. Both have claimed 11 lives.
  7. Whenever I hear Styx, I think it’s a band making fun of Styx. Not a Canadian fact, just something to think about.
  8. Canada’s smallest classical dance company is the Frobisher Bay Ballet, consisting of two people, Leo and Doreen Proctor. Every one of their dance numbers is a pas du tout.
  9. Two out of seven Canadians find that compiling lists is much more difficult than they expected.
  10. Canada should really get those moles checked.
  11. Despite all the events and parties planned to celebrate Canada’s 150th, Canada does not write thank you notes.

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About Author

Ross Murray

Ross Murray is an award-winning humorist and radio contributor and the author of two books ‘You’re Not Going to Eat That, Are You?’ and ‘Don’t Everyone Jump at Once’. Raised in Nova Scotia, Ross has lived in the Eastern Townships of Quebec since the early 1990’s with his wife Debbie, four children and far too many pets. After all this time, Ross feels comfortable calling himself a Townshipper; his neighbours call him something else.

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